Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Call of Duty errant good game: 42 Stabs in a Single Gun Game Wager Match

When my friends and I get bored, we hop into Gun Game Wager Matches and just stab the @#$% out of everyone.  Why?

  • It's good practice for stabbing.
  • It's a nice change of pace when regular player matches get frustrating.
  • It's incredibly funny to hear the screams of anguish coming through your television speakers because you've demoted/humiliated the same 13-year-old five times in a row.
Just thought I'd share the results of my recent record setting performance (among my group of friends) with some nice Call of Duty Elite screenshots.



You read that right: 42 stabs and just 27 deaths.  Three of my opponents shot the whole time whereas my friend Chris spent some of his time shooting and stabbing and my buddy Colin stabbed for the entirety of the game.

Monday, August 1, 2011

Call of Duty Funny Fail: Man Sets RC-XD in Busy Spot of Firing Range, Dies in Game Ending Explosion

So, this was the first clip I ever wanted to save from a game of Call of Duty: Black Ops.  Why?  Because it involves me looking marginally competent, I got a game winning kill, and it was funny.  The funny part is that when I stumbled across the poor dude standing completely defenseless while setting off an RC-XD, I opened fire, completely missed the guy, and hit the RC-XD between his legs and was rewarded with a nice explosion.

I was so proud of myself that I edited it into three clips...

Part One:


Part Two:


Part Three:

Call of Duty Tip #10: When in Doubt, Toss a Grenade on Bravo

I've already previously mentioned that Bravo is a good place to kill people, but I figured I'd also note that repeatedly tossing grenades onto Bravo on some boards is not only sometimes an easy way to get kills but also to get that pesky Multifrag Kill challenge you've been working on.


(BTW, I just realized that I posted tip #11 before tip #10... oops.)

Call of Duty Tip #11: Use an Overhead View of Theater Mode to Gain Intel

I went 36-14 in this game of Domination in Nuketown, so I wanted to see, what exactly that looked like from overhead. I spent most of my time in the back of the moving truck sighting up enemies running down the alley toward Bravo. Here's what it all looked like...

Part One:


Part Two:


Part Three:


What did I learn? Not a whole lot.  But, using an overhead view of an old game in theater mode can give you insight into new hidey-holes where people camp.

Call of Duty Funny Fail: Man Dives Partially Under Closing Door, Head Crushed

The title pretty much says it all.  For no good reason, I tried diving under a closing door in a game of Domination on Stockpile and had my head crushed.  That's not even BAD CoD, that's just DUMB CoD.

Call of Duty Tip #9: Upgrade Your Perks to Pro

Regardless of what perks you like to equip your classes with, it's always worth upgrading up your perk to the pro version. Why? For starters, the pro versions always have some kind of added benefit that can make a tremendous difference. Secondarily, in order to upgrade to pro, you need to complete three challenges that will also grant you some nice little boosts of XP on your way to leveling up.

Since I've decided not to Prestige again for a while (or ever) I've instead decided to work on upgrading all of the perks to pro. My favorite class already has Lightweight Pro (which allows you to jump from any height without damage), Sleight of Hand Pro (which allows you to sight up faster), and Marathon Pro (which allows you to sprint continuously). I think I have just four perks to upgrade: Scavenger, Flak Jacket, Scout, and Tactical Mask.

The below video is of me finally nailing that irritating Quick Melee challenge (two stabs in five seconds) on my way to Ninja Pro.


For a nice clean list of what all the pro verions of perks get you, go here.

PS.  I had enough time to actually shoot that third dude, but I was 30 to 60 minutes into a haze of stabbing that I forgot I didn't REALLY need to stab anymore.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Call of Duty Tip #8: Shoot Where You See Muzzle Fire

Where good CoD players can seemingly identify an enemy from great distances in the dark in whiteout conditions, I frequently have a hard time seeing an enemy ten feet away dressed in a giant chicken suit.  Okay that last part is completely fabricated, but it's not far from the truth.

One tip is to simple shoot where you see muzzle fire.  If you're looking in that direction and you don't see a friendly indicator on your radar, sight up and fire!

Here's an extreme example with rocket launchers:



Incidentally, I also won that match of Sharpshooter on Villa. My FIRST Sharpshooter win EVER!

Call of Duty Funny Fail: Man Accidentally Quick Scopes at Point Blank Range

So, during a wager match on Villa, I had the not-so-bright-but-fortunate idea to hide in a booth with a sniper rifle.  My intent was to shoot whoever walked by not thinking that I wouldn't be able to react fast enough or that I probably wasn't particularly well hidden with my sniper rifle sticking out the window.

But, lo and behold, I got the kill!

Call of Duty Tip #7: Reload Reload Reload

Nothing is worse than stumbling across an enemy close range and simply not having enough bullets left in your clip to cap his ass.  This seriously happened to me all the time until my friend informed me that I as being an idiot by not reloading more frequently.

I'm probably on the reload-waaaaay-too-frequently end of the spectrum now.  This is also bad particularly when you stumble across multiple enemies and you reflexively reload after killing the first one who rounds a corner.  Then his two buddies show up and completely obliterate you.

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Call of Duty Funny Fail: Man Backs into an Already Occupied Corner

I'm a creature of habit and there are certain spots I like on different boards. There happens to be a corner I like to camp out in on Radiation. Behold what happens when I back into that corner only to find that it's already occupied by the enemy.

Call of Duty Tip #6: Bravo Is a Good Place to Kill People

More often than not in a game of Domination, Bravo can turn into a $#!% show.  It's always in the middle of the board with too many approach paths to defend.  Almost inevitably, there's a continuous string of opportunities for kills as someone is constantly trying to take it.

If your team owns Bravo, you should be able to camp or patrol the area to defend and re-take the flag as necessary.  Especially if the other team isn't particularly well organized.

Here's a clip with as many Bravo-related kills as I could squeeze into a 30-second clip from one match on Hotel:

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Call of Duty Funny Fail: Man Jumps Over Grim Reaper Rocket... And Dies Anyway

Apparently jumping over a Grim Reaper rocket will NOT save your life.  Additionally, it appears that Call of Duty butterflies are made out of sterner stuff than you. (Just one of the joyous things you can learn during a wager match in Nuketown.)

Call of Duty Tip #5: Fire Your Gun in Bursts

I'm an assault rifle kind of guy.  You get the right balance of killing power, mobility, fire rate, and accuracy.  I don't need to shoot people a billion times to kill them, I'm not so slow that I'm essentially a stationary target, and my gun doesn't empty so fast and so inaccurately that I'm always a defenseless non-threat.

That said, accuracy can still be an issue with assault rifles if you just ride the trigger until you empty your clip.  The nose of your gun will lift and drift.  Instead, the better tactic is to fire in bursts.  Some guns like the M16 and the G11 already do this for you.  My gun of choice is almost always the Galil, though.

Here's an example of some long range burst firing in a game of Domination on Silo:


Here's another example of some long range burst firing in a game of Domination on Hazard:

Monday, June 13, 2011

Call of Duty Tip #4: Don't Stand Directly on Your Care Package Smoke

The first time I had a long enough kill streak to get a care package in Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2, I was unbelievably excited.  I also had no idea what the heck I was doing.  So, after tossing the smoke signal, I stood directly on the billowing smoke.  Who knew helicopters dropping packages would so accurate?

As as result, I was crushed and my care package was subsequently stolen by an opposing player.  The moral of the story is when you toss your smoke signal, it's a good idea to:
  • Do it near a flag you've captured (if playing Domination).
  • Do it when a friend can watch your back.
  • Find a place that doesn't have any direct lines of sight.
  • Even consider throwing a smoke grenade/Willy Pete to make it harder for enemies to pick you off.
  • Not stand directly on the smoke.
The following clip shows me getting credit for an Assisted Suicide on Grid near Alpha.  If I had to guess, one opponent is trying to share care package crates with a teammate to complete a challenge for the Hardline Pro perk in Call of Duty: Black Ops.  It's probably a SAM Turret and a genuine care package crate getting dropped off.  I'm pretty sure that dude would've gotten himself killed even if I hadn't started shooting at him.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Call of Duty Tip #3: Don't Rage Spawn

Urban Dictionary defines "rage spawn" as "A term used in online gaming, predominately Call of Duty. Often times when players are killed they are given the option to watch the 'kill cam,' or skip it and re-spawn immediately, which is called 'rage spawning.' It's often accompanied with verbal profanity, or 'raging.'"

It is important not to "rage spawn" because the Kill Cam provides you with important information:
  • Who killed you?
  • How did they kill you?
  • Where do you go to get revenge/to get killed again?
The Kill Cam is also a great resource for determining other great camping spots that you could use. 

Call of Duty Tip #2: Don't Feel Bad About Camping

According to Wikipedia, camping in video games is defined as "a tactic in which a player will obtain a strategic position anywhere on the map and wait for players to arrive and be killed, or waiting for useful objects to appear in an area rather than actively seeking them out."  Wikipedia goes on to say that camping is both a legitimate strategy and also something that is frequently looked upon with great disdain.

For new players and for outright bad Call of Duty players, I suggest that they shouldn't feel a lick of guilt about camping.  Personally, I think people's outlook on camping derives completely from which side of the equation they're on -- ie. are they getting killed repeatedly or are they racking up kills?  That said, it REALLY sucks when you get pinned on one side of a map and the opposing team just camps your spawn point.  It should also be pointed out that if someone is genuinely camping in the same spot, you should know exactly where to shoot, n00b tube, or toss a grenade the next time you spawn.

In the following clip you see me camping near where Charlie would be on the WMD map.  I sped it up to get it under the 30 second clip limit:



Main things I think bad CoD players need to take away from this:

  • This camp spot only works if your team controls Charlie, otherwise you'll just have someone walk up behind you and shoot you in the head.
  • This camp spot only works if your team controls two flags -- if the opposing team controls two flags, there's really no reason for them to come take the remaining one unless they're bored or looking to humiliate you.
  • If the opposing team controls zero flags, they'll spawn in unpredictable places and you may end up, again, with someone walking up behind you and capping your ass.
  • It's still worth protecting your back, thus you see me planting a claymore at the corner.
  • Look are the flag indicators to see where opposing players will be coming from (ideally from Alpha).
  • Keep an eye on the map for the red dots that show up, especially if your team has a spy plane or an SR-71 in the sky.
  • Keep an eye on that gap in the far distance to the left, the medium distance passage to the right, and the near distance doorway to the left.
  • Be patient as it may be a long time between kills.
  • If I had better aim, I would've had more than a six-kill streak, but the next dude who came out of that doorway to the left shot me before I could sight him up. 
Hope that helps both badcodders with both general camping principles and also very specific camping strategies for WMD.  (Assuming I get decent video clips, I'll post my other two favorite WMD camping spots at a later date.)

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Call of Duty Tip #1: Repetition Can Be Good and Bad

I'm going to kick off my series of tips for bad Call of Duty players BY a bad Call of Duty player.  The tips are not in any kind of order of importance.  I'll probably be presenting them as I find appropriate clips I can upload.  Without further ado, here's the first Call of Duty: Black Ops clip:



The tip here is that repetition can be both very good or very bad.  You'll notice that I got nearly the exact same kill four times in this match of Domination on Summit.  You'll also notice that three of the four kills were on the same opposing player.  Repetition got me a bunch of kills and it also got the opposing player a bunch of deaths.  I'd also like/hate to admit, that I was similarly killed multiple times trying to secure Charlie.

In an ideal world, notice how your opponents behave.  They might get fixated on something and present a pattern where you can get a bunch of easy kills.  Similarly, please notice if you keep trying to take the same flag or if you keep walking down the same alley and keep getting killed --  Mix it up!

In the immortal words of George W. Bush, "There's an old saying in Tennessee -- I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee -- that says, fool me once, shame on ... shame on you. Fool me ... you can't get fooled again."

Monday, June 6, 2011

E3 on G4TV: Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 Battle in New York Footage

So, I just happened to be home today flipping through stations and I stumbled across G4 airing live coverage of E3 2011.  My timing was pretty good because they were about to air G4-exclusive Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 footage of the Battle in New York City.  They had Robert Bowling, Community Manager of Infinity Ward and also Glen Schofield, VP and GM of Sledgehammer Games.

Here's what came out of the interview and footage:

  • Objective: Get to the Stock Exchange.
  • Russians have taken over Manhattan and the Americans have come into push them out.
  • Footage showed the streets of Lower Manhattan.
  • Takes places right after Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2.
  • Environment spawned new features like the "dual scope system" allowing players to have different scoping options for long range and interior environments.
  • Objective: Flank the Russians on Wall Street.
  • Campaign is single player only.
  • Spec-Ops is coming back for co-op play and will use the same maps as multiplayer.
  • Same modes as Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 plus Survival Mode (facing endless waves of enemies).
  • Schofield has spent time speaking with Marines in research.
  • Audio updates like whiz-bys together a better sense of direction of fire.
  • More textures... but keeping things running smooth at 60 FPS.
  • Objective: Rally with your squad in the lobby.
  • Objective: Get to the Stock Exchange roof.
  • Modern Warfare had nearly 30 million players.
  • Objective: Detonate the thermite charge.
  • Objective: Use the Reaper to take out enemy forces.
  • Objective: Board the Black Hawk.
  • Weapons and equipment confirmed through gameplay footage and interview include:
    • P90 Holographic.
    • AK-47 Red Dot.
    • P90 ACOG.
    • AK-47 Grenadier.
    • RPD.
    • MP5.
    • AK-47 ACOG.
    • XM25.
    • 9-Bang.
    • Thermite.
    • AK-47 Silenced w/ACOG.
    • Reaper.
I think I missed some guns and there's probably some obvious stuff that I can't identify visually, but the gameplay looks pretty game sweet.  And I can already tell you that I'm going to be awful at some of these maps.  New York looks like it had a lot of dark corners where I'd just completely miss someone camping.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 Reveal Trailer According to BadCod

There are people all over the web hyper-analyzing the latest trailer for Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3.  They're breaking it down frame-by-frame, guessing at plotlines, speculating about characters, and predicting what might end up as multiplayer maps.

Since you've heard all that, I'll take another approach.  Watch the trailer and then I'll give you my "Top Ten Observations of the Reveal Trailer from a Bad Call of Duty Player":



Okay, here's my Top Ten:

  1. Wow, I should really go back and play the single player modes for Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 and Call of Duty: Black Ops.
  2. Am3rica, 3ngland, Franc3, and G3rmany, eh?  I'm guessing lots of urban environments in single player means that there will be lots of urban environments in multiplayer.
  3. Urban environments means lots of buildings.  Buildings means lots of indoor play.  Lots of indoor play means that there's a good chance I'll experience video game motion sickness.
  4. I would love it if they got Ice Cube to do voiceovers again... but this time with a French accent.
  5. Crashing on a subway train would really suck.
  6. I'm hoping there are very recognizable sections of New York to run around.  That would totally shorten my learning curve on new maps.
  7. I know it wouldn't be contextually correct or even remotely realistic, but I would love to be able to equip a big-ass sword as my secondary weapon.  If you're going to let me have a Ninja Perk, let me be more ninja-like!  
  8. Tangentially related, I noticed that the "France teaser trailer" is currently the only Modern Warfare 3 teaser trailer with fewer than one million views.  Do people really just hate France?
  9. I fear that CoD: MW3 is somehow already making people stupider with comments like: "TO ALL YOUS WHO GET BONNER YOU SHOOD GET A LIEF BCUS U SUK A PHALLUS".
  10. CODMW3's release date is November 8, 2011... that means we can kill people online before AND after stuffing ourselves with turkey.
Any other bad Call of Duty-ers out there with more thoughts?